Time never ceases, and memories only increase. Its hard to understand life when anything and everything is possible. Understanding the concept that we must "grow up" is harder to grasp than we originally thought. You recall that moment when you were five, when you thought everyone was born into what they are. The cashier lady was just a cashier, you never took the time to wonder what her life was like outside of work. You knew her as a worker. Or our middle school teachers, they weren't considered real people it was a joke to imagine a teacher in the real world doing anything but teaching and when you saw them at the store it was like seeing a unicorn shopping. But behind these invalid ideas and media driven lifestyles we all thought we were "supposed" to compare our lives to. most of our lives were more of a soap opera. At least mine was and only continues to be. In the toddler years you only remember the good memories. Maybe we want to erase the bad memories and live "normal". But as Freud said in his theories that everything in our adolescence affects the person we grow to be.
The family councilors are telling our parents not to yell in front of us, not to fight, but did they ever stop to do so? And if they did would that change the way we perceive or react to things now. Our parents were always our idols, so why when our parents divorce does it take such a dramatic course on us.. who are "left behind". Yes, My parents divorced when I was five, the only thing I remember while they were together is singing in a circle at school The Wheels on the bus go round and round. Or the pictures and shows that reminded me of different events like sleeping with the grasshoppers I caught in a pickle jar and waking up to them dead because I forgot they needed bigger holes to breathe. Or the smell of the lasagna my dad would cook when we weren't eating Peaunt Butter and Jelly sandwhiches or was it grilled cheese? My memories are fading but I guess its the concept of the matter that is important. My dog King... I remember him, I just dont remember how he disappeard? Maybe he died, maybe he got lost, maybe they told me, Maybe I dont want to remember. He was a gorgeous large German Shepard, My passion was always animals and until this day it is animals. ( i literally sit here today listening to my sugar glider hop around her cage and i have to smell her weird stench and listen to her nibbling on the orange slice i gave her hoping it wont make her ill)
My thoughts are very disorganized, and my memories are scattered, I cant even put my jobs on a resume correctly because 1. I have had many jobs, and 2. i lose track of time. But I will try to pin point everything put it in order and hope all goes well. If not maybe only the scatter brains in my click will understand what I am saying. and hey if thats a good amount of people than koodos to me. But I plan to recognize the goods, the bads, and still show appreciation for all that I have lived, and all that I have learned. Of course exaggerating my emotions into some parts, but its my life from my point of view from what i remember. Just as each and everyone of us does and sometimes wish they knew the reality of what our thoughts and emotions mix to create our "self reality".
