Also tailar left... she said our friendship was fading.. its not that its just my heart n mind are numb. Im alone again in florida... no friends... everyone left to go see their families... I can't bare to see mine... it will only hurt more.. I decided to spend christmas alone. Its okay im used to lonely holidays... just wish I knew how to make more friends and not just bar friends.. well tailar left for the better hoping she progresses at her moms... she was starting to lie alot.. and getting back into drugs and things.. I kinda started trying coke.. (when I got too drunk) so I've decided to stay away from alcohol.. maybe one or two drinks... ugh. I got so shit faced the other day.. I ended up being a creeper and going into billy's room and I guess kissing on him(im so embaressed) but what can I do I can't take it back.. guess it was a drunk routine to hop in his bed.. which isn't good maybe I ruined the perfect relationship with all my issues and bad habits. But im not going to beat myself up. Good and bad things happen and life goes on...
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