I still feel suicidal like no one cares they pretend but in the end human nature is to put yourself first I feel like im just here viewing everything around me. Im just here... for no reason. I get attention for my beautiful but its accomidating to them, but what about me I want meaningful attention. Im not a bad person but im not good, im visible but very invisible. Drinking is bad I understand but that's when I most understand my thoughts and needs. Who am I and what good does it do to be ignored around these less attractive Gill sometimes (not nice to say) but I don't want to JUST be here. And have no one to love and no one to love me.
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